whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
