of course. lets lasso hookers.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
