The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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