On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
