Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
