Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
