Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
