Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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