she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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