Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
