I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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