I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
