My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
