I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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