im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
