You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I want you more than these girls want KFC
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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