even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
