so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Couch. On fire.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
