Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize