Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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