Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
