The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
