You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
