all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think a kid would responsible me up
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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