Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
