what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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