drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize