im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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