he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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