Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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