she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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