p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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