I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize