It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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