dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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