names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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