New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
