i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
