I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
