Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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