Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
