Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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