Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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