I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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