i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
