we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
