Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
