..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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