I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just made my gag reflex go away.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
