The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
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