I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
