Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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