Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
