Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
