Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
