I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
