Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
