That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
